Hire The Ones Who Have Struggled
There are a select few people who do amazing work in their lives — I’m not referring to the regular good ones, but the ones who consistently inspire the people around them with how they tirelessly push to do their best work and do the right things. The ones who push beyond the point where at least 95% of people would have said “This is too much,” and waved the white flag.
The best people I know all have their own back story of significant struggles. (Don’t take my word for it, think about the most inspiring person you know; ask them what’s their story.)
Nobody is blessed with resilience, it is always earned; through considerable amounts of pain.
These people turn out to be the best assets on any team for a few reasons.
They know that pain is a necessary part of growth. In the moment when you are experiencing pain, it always seems meaningless. There is an easy way out in every painful situation, that looks like a shiny ‘Exit’ sign which comes with a promise to stop the pain. Only those who have seen that sign and consciously chose to reject it have the privilege of realizing on hindsight that because they chose to stick with the pain, they came out of the experience stronger and better. Only those who chose to stick with the pain & successfully got past it have the advantage of looking back and seeing that if they had taken the easy way out, they would have gotten nowhere.
Because of this past experience, their instinctive response to difficult situations is not to try and stop the bleeding but to face it head on. While the instinctive reaction of any human being in the face of pain is to find the remedy (running away, avoiding it or giving up) so they can return to their happy balance, the best people walk in the opposite direction and take these difficult situations head on because they know they will grow from this pain — they have seen it happen for themselves before.
They have an innate belief that they can get past it. With a repository of “Times I thought I would die from the pain but survived”, in face of new challenges and difficult situations, they have hard evidence they can draw to convince themselves that they will be able to survive it. That innate belief that you can weather any storm goes a long way.
They take full ownership of the pain and the struggle. Most significant struggles in life are deeply personal because they are emotional and mental hurdles that you need to get past. Having a strong support system is a bonus but you always have to take that leap and get past it yourself. And once you get past the pain, the gains are also deeply personal. The ones who have struggled and survived understand this, and in face of pain, they take full ownership and lean on those around but don’t expect anyone to stop the bleeding for them.
If I ever have children and catch them in a painful situation, I will be there to catch them when they fall but I will not rush in to stop the pain for them because I know they will be better for it.
Embrace & appreciate your struggles. They make you a better person & they are an important piece in the puzzle of success.
Maybe one of the most important interview questions that should be asked: “What’s your struggle?”
Hire the ones who have struggled and survived, they are the ones who will stick around when times get tough — and if you’re trying to do anything extraordinary, it always gets tough.